Early Edition
by Paul Sheldon
Summary: Squidward gets tomorrows newspaper today. Based on the TV Show of the same name.
1. It Starts With a Fire

Disclaimer: I do not own Spongebob. I do not own Early Edition.

Sorry that this is such a short chapter. I am writing this for English class and was hoping to get some feedback on what little I have completed. I plan to post the second chapter (hopefully longer) tomorrow.

_**Chapter One: It Starts With a Fire**_

Sunday and life is perfect. He had just woken up to a beautiful day and was already playing his clarinet. Sunday meant many things to many people: Church, Sales Ads, and last day of the weekend before school. Being an atheist Squidward didn't care much for church, and since school was years in the past he needn't worry about that either. For him Sunday was a day for freedom; a day to relax.

Squidward was only 32, and yet his face was plagued by wrinkles. He blamed this unfortunate blemish on his long time neighbor Spongebob. Spongebob was the exact opposite of Squidward. While Squidward considers himself to be a more artistic and cultured person, Spongebob is an immature child who enjoys mindlessly waving a net around to catch jellyfish. What does this have to do with Sunday?

Being a full-time employee at the most popular fast food joint in town requires that Squidward spend 8 hours a day, 9 on Fridays, working with Spongebob. But not today, today was his day…or at least he thought.

The sound streaming from his clarinet was a sound that made people punch babies, a sound that made the deaf thankful and their friends jealous. Squidward didn't notice. He continued to play day after day dreaming of the day he could perform on stage in front of a large crowd made up of his fans. That day would never come.

"Be right back" he said as he placed down his clarinet. Having been playing for three hours Squidward had become quite thirsty and headed down stairs. A nice refreshing glass of Atlantis Green Tea, and two cookies later he was ready to get back to what was most important to him. Before he could reach the stairs his perfect day became slightly flawed. He heard a sound, two sounds on his front door step.

_**Thud…Meow**_

'Spongebob', he thought as he ran to the door "and he brought Gary"

He threw the door open to find no one. Only a newspaper and a Snail.

"Get out of here!" he yelled pointing at SpongeBob's house. The snail moved toward the pineapple house at a slow pace. Squidward reached down at picked up the newspaper.

'That's odd,' he thought, 'I don't subscribe to the Bottom Feeder Daily'

He walked back into his house flipping through the pages as he went. Halfway through his stair climb he dropped the newspaper. It couldn't be right was all he could think as he stood there, unable to do anything. According to the paper the Krusty Krab had been destroyed by a 'kitchen-related incident'. He had worked yesterday until close and certainly didn't witness any destruction. He bent down to look at the newspaper and sure enough it was there:

**One Death in Krusty Krab Fire**


	2. And Resolves with a Miracle

Chapter Two: And resolves with a miracle

_A Fire broke out yesterday evening in the popular fast food restaurant Krusty Krab. The well known food establishment, known for their signature Krabby Patty, burned down due to a 'kitchen-related incident'. Passerby looked on as the fire burned for nearly 3 hours before being extinguished. One life was claimed in the__ fire._

_For Complete Article turn to __**Amazing Underwater Fires Page 7**_

"When did this happen?" Squidward yelled out into his empty house. "I worked yesterday and the place was fine. Did this happen after I left?"

He couldn't figure it. The paper was telling him that his job place burned down the previous day, a day he worked. It wasn't adding up. Thoughts were racing through his head; thoughts of poverty, hunger, and of the person whose life the fire claimed.

'This has to be a joke. I don't subscribe to the Bottom Feeder Daily, and if this was in the evening wouldn't I have seen it?' he knew what he had to do and before he knew what he was doing, he found himself in his boatmobile parked outside of the Krusty Krab; A perfectly normal Krusty Krab; a burn-free Krusty Krab.

"Spongebob," Squidward yelled pushing open the doors to the restaurant. "Is this supposed to be funny?"

He slammed the paper onto the counter, next to the register where Spongebob was stationed. Spongebob turned from the window that looked into the kitchen and shouted with joy.

"Squidward, you came to visit on your day off! Come to enjoy a Krabby Patty have you?" he asked in a way that made it seem like it was some form of forbidden activity of which no one should speak.

"What is the meaning of this, Spongebob?!" he said angrily, no longer yelling

"What's that Squidward?" Spongebob asked, confused "Oh, a sale on Seanut Butter and Jellyfish Jelly sandwiches over at the Chum Bucket. I'll go inform Mr. Krabs."

He began to walk toward the office when a newspaper was thrust in his face. "OH MY GOSH!" he yelled, "Not the Krusty Krab! What'll we do Squidward? This was our home away from home; our safe haven. What are we gonna do?!?" he yelled as tears began to flow from his eyes.

"Spongebob, would you quit it. The place hasn't burned down, you're working right now after all!" He yelled at the pathetic sponge.

"But why would you write such a thing, Squidward. Is this some kind of sick humor?" Spongebob asked, still crying slightly.

"Me! I found it on my door stop with your stupid Snail." He said, curious as to who had actually written it since Spongebob lacked the brains and resources to pull of something like this.

"Well I didn't write it. Maybe gasp Maybe it's a warning." Spongebob suggested. "Lets look at the rest of the article."

_The fire was started yesterday evening when the on-duty fry cook neglected to properly maintain the fryers. Officials say that the exact cause was a fryer which had run out of vegetable oil. Mr. Eugene Krabs tells us that the employee assigned to work the fryers was new to the company and was working his first day.__ Tragic__ally he was lost in the fire._

"This is bad Squidward. This is really bad." Spongebob said, afraid "This is really, really bad Squidward."

"What, What is it?" Squidward said "what's really bad? What?"

"Joe is on fryers today. It's his first day" Just as Spongebob finished his sentence Joe wondered out of the kitchen headed toward the bathroom. Squidward and Spongebob raced toward the kitchen door.

"Look Squidward!" Spongebob yelled pointing to the fryers "The middle one." And sure enough, just as the paper said, it was low on oil. Spongebob pressed the off button and ran to get a block of vegetable oil. Squidward glanced down at his magical life-saving newspaper.

_**Fishtendo**____**Sii**__** to Dominate Sales this Christmas**_

_Gaming Console, oddly named the __Sii__ (that's pronounced sea for all you parents out there) is predicted to dominate sales this Christmas. This marks __Fishtendo__'__s__ first time on top of the market since the Super __Fishtendo__ Entertainment System, more commonly known as the SFES._

_For complete article turn to __**Fony**____**Sinkstation**__** Sucks Page 7**_

_****_What happened he wondered, flipping through the pages looking for the article. He knew he wouldn't find it, it was right where that stupid game article now sits. "Where is it?" He yelled right before something caught his eye. The newspaper's date, it couldn't be right. October 22nd? How could that be, that's tomorrow.

"Squidward, it's a good thing you stopped by, but I don't understand what just happened." Spongebob said

"Neither do I." Squidward said, and turned to leave.

Authors Note:

So it's not longer, but whatever. I'm hoping since this is such an open ended story I can write many chapters (even if they're all short). I'd like to thank sbfan728 for the review.


End file.
